By Robert Rabe |
Every critical incident has similarities, and differences. In
addition, every law enforcement officer's reaction to an incident is individual
as well. Some officers go through the process of integrating the experience
into their psyche without difficulty. Usually this is with the help of
others (peer group counseling, debriefings). It is difficult to an
effectively process an incident alone. The family is one of the primary
contacts for processing stressful incidents. But what can the family possibly
do to help the officer?
The family can make sure that nothing is overlooked, especially,
if medication is needed. But sometimes medication or even intervention
isn't enough. If the officer has become sullen and melancholy, they are a
different person than before the critical incident and onset of PTSD. At
this point, the family becomes the secondary victim, and loyalty is tested.
The spouse and the children can suffer from secondary PTSD, which is not
widely recognized or discussed in the mainstream media. Secondary PTSD is
based on the concept, that those who care for or interact with the primary
individual who suffers from PTSD, can also become traumatized.
Secondary PTSD results from having knowledge of a critical
incident experienced by another individual and the stress from helping.
Secondary PTSD is nearly identical to PTSD except the exposure
to the critical incident is indirect. Today, many law enforcement
personnel and their families suffer from PTSD and the battle that rages within.
But the good news is that PTSD and Secondary PTSD are treatable. The next
step is helping families to learn the characteristics of Secondary PTSD and
where to look for help.
Characteristics of Secondary PTSD Checklist:
(Dr. Oscar Ramirez)
FEAR:
Spouse fears what might happen
the next time the officer has another fit of rage.
Spouse fears the officer will
someday leave and abandon the family and never come back.
Spouse fears what might happen to
the officer when they are not home.
Spouse fears “middle of the night
surprises."
Spouse feels "if just one
more thing happens, I'll lose my mind."
GUILT:
Spouse regrets putting the
children through the trauma
Spouse feels that it's ‘my fault,
if a were a better spouse, they would be different’
Spouse feels guilt for spending
money on themselves or has a hard time just having fun
Spouse feels the guilty for just
about everything
DEPRESSION:
Spouse develops a sense of
helplessness and hopelessness
Spouse is "tired of
trying" set up for disappointment
Spouse demonstrates low self
esteem - poor appearance, dirty home
REJECTION:
Spouse feels that he/ she cannot
be truly intimate with the officer and feels rejected. They see the
inability of the officer to share their emotions
Spouse feels rejected by friends
who no longer come around.
Spouse feels rejected by the community
because of lack of support or social interaction
ISOLATION/ALIENATION:
Spouse, children and family may
have few friends or be unable to relate to friends as they would like to
because the officer has alienated them with his attitude
The few friends or family the
spouse does have are tired of hearing about the troubles
The spouse may escape into a
fantasy world, romantic fiction, TV, thoughts of affairs or engage in compulsive
buying
INSECURITY:
The spouse may lean on children,
friends or others too heavily for emotional support
Spouses experience a constant
tension and anxiety because the spouse never knows what they will do next
Financial insecurity may add
tremendous anxiety
DENIAL:
Spouse denies having problems,
after all, in spite of the circumstances, look how well I keep it together
Denial that God or anyone else
can help the spouse or the officer. "We have already tried
everything and nothing has worked".
EMOTIONAL EXPLOSIONS:
Spouse takes out frustrations on
children
Children may become severely
withdrawn or demanding or agitated
Children may take overly
responsible roles to try to balance the family
Children may try to find
fulfillment in other worthy causes - church etc. leading to constant time
pressure
In closing, resources need to be in place to help all involved:
the officer, the spouse, and the children. When the unexpected occurs be as prepared
as you can to respond with supports. It
is crucial to recognize and deal with the situation and all potentially related
problems that can multiply traumatic stress and create PTSD and Secondary PTSD.
Remember, it's never too late to start preparing for the critical
incident response.
Knowledge is power and it's important to know what makes you
stressed, and how you can deal with it, in a healthy way.
Contact Robert Rabe at sheepdog4066@hotmail.com
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