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| By Cade Saurage from La Hacienda Treatment Center |
No, I am not a first responder. I do not know what it is
like to risk my life every day on the job. I have never held my co-worker in my
arms as he lay dying, never shot a gun at anything but a deer, never been
accused of being too aggressive by a company paying me to protect people, never
ran into a burning building or had a high-speed car chase.
Comparatively, my job is safer and my employer more
appreciative and I do not feel like I am overworked and underpaid. And because
I am not a cop, then my efforts to help the first responder community often go
challenged with lack of identification and even a greater lack of trust. But, what
I have learned is that most of the time that challenge exists from a third
party. A superior officer feels like I won’t be able to help because he knows
how he would feel if I was trying. Or, it is wife who feels like her struggle
to connect with her husband will be shared with me because I have never worn a
badge and I am not part of the brotherhood. Co-workers, union members, police
chiefs, department heads, political figures……they understand the mind of an
officer because most of them are one and they know that cops trust
cops…..period.
But, here is what I know. I know first-hand what it is like
to be hopeless, alone, embarrassed and full of self-loathing. I am fully aware
of being able to conquer everything I have tried, except turning down another
drink. I know exactly what it is like to feel like my whole world is crashing
around me. I know the fear that blankets someone when they truly want to quit
drinking and can’t. I have had the kids look at me with sadness and been
through the divorce that comes with addiction. I have had the job loss, the
financial problems, the family’s heartbreak, the tears, the sweats and the
shakes….oh I’ve had the shakes…..the sick in the morning and the sick at night.
I have been through it all.
And, when an officer of the law listens on the other end of
the telephone or sits across a table from me, his ears and his eyes always perk
up when I tell him or her with every bit of truth in the world that I know what
he is feeling, I have been there, and I can help him never drink or use again.
It’s amazing the bond that addiction can bring, the brotherhood that recovery
offers, and the trust that is experienced by two alcoholics, regardless of
their career choices, when they identify in the throes of addiction.
I’m never going to go through the police academy and I am
never going to wear a badge, but I am always going to be an alcoholic and I am
always going to be available for the homeless, the jobless, the farmers, the
teachers, the doctors, the lawyers, the salesmen, the CEOs, the janitors, the
firemen, the paramedics, and the cops……..always got time for the cops.
Cops do prefer cops. I get that. Identification is
important. And trusting someone outside their world or continuing to drink are
not always easy alternatives to face for some cops. But, I’m not taking notes when
I’m helping. The only agenda I have is altruism. I’m simply sharing in the
struggle and hopefully sharing in the rebuild. And so far, it has worked. Let
me know how I can be of service. God is good.
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