By Dave Smith for Police Magazine |
Man, things were hard. We didn't have people offering psychological support to whine to, and when we got divorced we just sucked it up. No PTSD counseling or peer support or anyone who understood. Nope, I was just sitting there alone during my divorce; my kids were gone, I had no real hope for the future, and I woke up at midnight and lay in bed listening to my heart pound, wondering if I would just die. But what do you know? You've never suffered like me. You don't know what I do about…
But wait…you say you do understand? Maybe if I'd had someone to talk to like you I wouldn't have been so alone in those dark days.
Unfortunately, one of the brain's nasty little tricks is making us focus on ourselves when we are sad or depressed; we feel we are alone, isolated, experiencing things no one else could feel or understand. But this is just a false perception. I am not saying you weren't sad or depressed; we all feel that way sometimes, and I am compelled to confess what I have felt and how I have learned the hard way that shutting down and finding yourself on an emotional island is NOT the way to cope. I learned that from Dr. Kevin Gilmartin. He isn't my friend because he wrote the book "Emotional Survival," or was a deputy, but because he was my salvation.
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