By Safe Call Now's Dr. Laura Brodie |
Academies teach how to turn it on. They teach of being alert, learning body
memory, run in when everyone is running out, save the innocent; do your job!
But they never teach how to turn it off. The job teaches how to ramp up and be
alert but now you’re alert at three am and reliving the day where you saw
horrific things. You’re now just pissed and annoyed at any request made of you
and you’re thinking to yourself, this isn’t me.
You roll your eyes at human pain. You hate handling the public and you assume
your job is going to demand all of you and give nothing in return. You’re
angry. You’re so angry without a clue as to why. You just want everyone to
leave you alone. You want to scream LEAVE ME ALONE! But as you fantasize of
doing so you also see yourself as the worst person on the planet.
You’re staring at paperwork and wonder why you took the job.
But, if you could go back in time you’d talk to your old self and realize you
did want to do good. You enjoyed helping
the innocent. You took the job to help. What the hell happened?
You forgot you. You
forgot everything that made you a person except the job. You forgot you like
playing music loud, watching silly comedies or reading a great book. You forgot the people under your roof love
you. You forgot you had dreams of
travel, of remodeling the home or restoring that car. You lost you and you’re mad. But wait, who
gave you away? You did. You bought into your identity as a hero and
forgot your identity as a human. You can
find it again but it is hanging up the white hat and allowing yourself to
return to the person who was not a savior, but just a person who enjoyed life.
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