The Cop, Trauma and our Children...

By Safe Call Now's Deputy Shawn Thomas

We all have childhood trauma of some sort.  As parents we try to raise our children to the best of our abilities.  We never try to create trauma but unfortunately we do.  It can be caused by things we do in their presence like repeatedly argue, drink a little too much, or onetime events that scar their mind forever.  If you stop and think of early childhood memories, what are they?  Sure you might remember Disneyland but I guarantee you remember slamming your finger in the car door, the mean babysitter, or the time you did something bad and got the belt.  My point is we never want to cause trauma for our children, but by being a law enforcement officer it is inevitable.  

Due to the recent police shootings in Dallas and Baton Rouge I was posed a question by one of my friends.  She asked me how the boys are feeling since you and your husband are deputies.  Well, I answered it for my boys not even thinking about how they truly feel.  Being a kid of a deputy myself I should know, right?  Absolutely not!  We all handle life and circumstances differently.  I assumed that they are fine and realize that every day we put our uniforms on and go to work that not coming home is a risk a law enforcement officer takes, which made me think to myself: WTF!!!  What other profession does that to their children and why should they have to feel that way?  Sure my mission is to be safe and come home every night but I can tell you, so was the Dallas and Baton Rouge officers.  So when my kids watch the heart breaking funeral for our extended family in blue, you can’t tell me for one minute that doesn’t create anxiety and trauma in their lives.

So how do I fix it?  Quit?  No, that’s not an option at my age.  Tell them suck it up buttercup, it is what it is?  No, I do the best I know how and communicate with my children about why I choose to be a deputy.   There is nothing wrong with conversing with our children about why we choose to be an officer of the law and why we continue to do the duties we do.  From day one I have always told my boys when I step out that door to go to work, when I’m not with you I am always in your hearts.  So go home safely, hug them, love them and help them understand the thin blue line!