"BELIEVE 208"

Officer Paul S. Buchanan #208

"Police Suicide - The Voice of Truth" - In Memory of Officer Paul S. Buchanan #208, Died by Suicide March 12, 2013

Two long years have passed since I lost my beloved husband, East Hartford CT Police Officer Paul S. Buchanan, #208 to suicide.  I would have never imagined that this would have been my life.  I never believed that I could survive such a terrible trauma such as the loss of my husband to suicide.  This has been a journey that at times has left me drained and feeling overwhelmed.  My belief and faith have been tried by fire.  Yet, I have picked up the pieces of my shattered life and have believed in my husband's message to "...make my death an issue and help other people that are like me..."  My life has changed forever and the voice of truth is prevailing.  My voice, Paul's voice, and most importantly, your voice too.  The voice of truth says that LEO's are suffering - that PTSD is real; that depression and anxiety exist in law enforcement agencies everywhere.  

I have shared and spoken the truth out loud about police suicide.  It's an uncomfortable topic for many to hear.  Change is happening, but it's too slow.   Administration still needs education; officers need training on their overall health and wellness; and most importantly LEO's have to learn to trust each other and speak the truth in what they are feeling emotionally.  Although LEO's are brave warriors they are also human.  They need to know that help is available.  We are still losing too many LEO's to suicide.  Even one is too many.  Ugly, terrible, taboo subject...suicide...a blue secret. Our LEO's are walking wounded officers who are deeply scarred invisibly by the job they do.  

LEO's have spoken to me and this is what the voice of truth says:

"I literally had to stop at a church on my way home once just so the priest could pray for me and talk to me long enough for the suicidal thought to go away."

"I do have PTSD and other symptoms that make my body hurt daily."

"Our department is so FREAKING blind to any mental health issues caused by this job, it makes me sick."

"Often times in this profession officers fall into a damaging state of mind which causes them to believe that if they show signs of emotions, it's a sign of weakness."

"I am a 25 year veteran of a municipal police department and would not have lived through it without therapy."

"I have been where I was ready to leave everything behind because I felt I had nothing left to give to my family, myself."

"I think it's a crying shame on top of a blatant sin that we are proactive on the streets and we handle suspects with care but right inside our own home (the police department/precinct) we walk around as if we don't see our brothers and sisters struggling"

"And you are absolutely correct, EAP has no idea about the stresses that a LEO goes through throughout their career."

"LEOs need to be able to seek treatment without fear of losing their job."

"Law enforcement is hell."

Police administration, leaders, and LEOs we need to keep breaking the stigma.  We cannot hide this blue secret anymore.  POLICE CULTURE NEEDS TO CHANGE.  We cannot sit silent. 

The truth speaks.  Do you hear it?

Trish Buchanan is the widow of East Hartford, Connecticut Police Officer Paul S. Buchanan Badge Number 208 who died by suicide on March 12, 2013.  She seeks to bring light to the subject of police suicide by talking about it.  Trish is an executive assistant in a Hartford Connecticut suburb and the proud mother of two sons. Her current passion is working on "BELIEVE 208" in collaboration with the Connecticut Alliance to Benefit Law Enforcement (http://www.cableweb.org/training/project-blue-208) to enhance awareness and support law enforcement officer mental health.  She is preparing for the next 5K "Believe 208- Run for the Brave and Finest" to be held in September 2015.  Trish's strong faith has sustained her through this terrible time in her life.  You may reach her at:  trishbuchanan208@yahoo.com To learn more about "Believe 208 - Run for the Brave and Finest" please visit her Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/Believe208