I'm a Cop and a Parent... Emotional Anorexia

By Safe Call Now's Dr. Laura Brodie

In my work with cops, I’ve worked with their kids. Cops need to hear what their kids are complaining about.  “He treats me like a suspect.” “She doesn’t trust me.” “He is cold and unfeeling, telling me what I’m doing wrong and never what I’m doing right.” But in talking to cops, I hear over and over how much they love their kids and remain confused about why their children do not feel their love.  Being a cop is a job that bleeds over to one’s personal life. The same can be said with psychologists.  We psychologists place our own children on the couch of “processing” everything instead of allowing our children to simply be kids. Cops tend to respond to rule breaking in a matter of fact way, slap on the cuffs and haul them in. But what if this person is your child?

Parenting is not policing and approaching your own child as a felon will only result in hurt and anger. Law enforcement individuals desire their children to turn out as law abiding.  This can result in a rigidity that does not allow the child to have a healthy rebellion and disagreement that can result in a healthy adult. Your kid is going to be a kid.  Your kid is going to push rules, hit buttons and try to be adult too soon.  Your job is to navigate this without instilling fear or doubt in your child, allowing freedom and individualization while monitoring for disaster. It’s a hard job. But in all of it you have to realize, this is your child who needs guidance and not an individual who needs harshness.

On the job a cop cannot accept disagreement, but as a parent you have to accept rebellion and understand that this rebellion allows for healthy development. If you police a child like a felon you risk multiple dangers. You tell your child he/she is untrustworthy, that they cannot make good decision and you know better than everyone else. 

My Husband... The Police Officer

By Melissa Littles - The Police Wife Life

"I'm fine"
"It's all good"
"I'll get a Red Bull or some coffee, I'm good"
"It's just four extra hours, we need the money"
"We can open presents on my lunch break, it's holiday pay"

Overtime, grant shifts, off duty security..... It’s the way many officers pay their mortgages and buy groceries.  For those who literally find a way to live with extra jobs, it is mind blowing that there are so many departments that don't allow officers to work off duty security.  Those are the officers with completely separate jobs on the side.  They have lawn services, pest control services, construction jobs....whatever it takes to pay the bills.  We are no different.

We went from a two income household to one. Within a year we went from doing pretty great after 15 years in with two incomes to struggling to avoid foreclosure on our newly built home after a diagnosis of autism, dysphagia, apraxia and seizures in our son.  Medical bills piled up, I couldn't keep my job because of all the therapy and specialist appointments... co-pays after insurance jumped quickly to over $600.00 a month... we lost over $4,000 a month in income with me staying home. It didn't take long for it to hit us like a brick.

So, he does what he does.  My husband, the police officer, heads off to his normal 40 hours per week, which never remains just 40 hours.... he picks up every DUI and seat belt enforcement grant shift he can, every estate sale, school dance, football game, pharmacy security, church security, funeral escort....you name it.... if he can work it, he will sign up for it.  Because we need the money and he will do whatever it takes to provide for his family. 

Where Does the Child of a #1stresponder Get Help???

New Beginnings - Where Our Children Get Help

Sometimes we focus so much on providing the first responder when in crisis that all of us forget about the children of the first responders.  Today Safe Call Now® is honored to announce our partnership with New Beginnings Adolescent Recovery Center that has built a nationwide referral network for our children.  We only bring you the “gold standard” and with New Beginnings that’s what your children are getting!!!  Read more about our new partners.

NAADAC, the Association for Addiction Professionals and the premier global organization of addiction professionals, has recognized New Beginnings Adolescent Recovery Center located in Opelousas, Louisiana, as its 2015 Organizational Achievement Award winner for its high level of care, support and commitment to the addiction professionals on its staff and throughout the substance abuse treatment industry in America. Johnny Patout, CEO of New Beginnings, commented, “This is a great honor for our entire organization, our treatment and support staff, and mostly for the many teenagers and their families whom we are able to help break away from their substance abuse.” Under his leadership, New Beginnings has transformed from a struggling program in 2011 to one of the leading award-winning treatment centers in the country today.

NAADAC, in announcing New Beginnings as its 2015 award winner, stated that through the recruitment of qualified, Master’s-level therapists, nurses and physicians who are dedicated to providing the highest quality of care possible for their patients, New Beginnings has become a center of excellence for struggling teenagers from across the country. They added that New Beginnings’ highly experienced leadership team, many of whom are in recovery themselves, have offered their experience, training, knowledge and skills in treating substance abuse. In doing so, they have provided real hope for adolescents and their families.

When I was 9... PTSD, Alcohol and my Father

By Janelle Cronk - Acadia Healthcare

When I was 9 -- I was a tomboy with a golden retriever.  Not a care in the world but the thrill of an adventure. I loved baseball, swimming and getting lost with my dog in the woods.

My father took care of me mostly.  He was, in my eyes, the greatest man in the universe.  Funny, charismatic, magnetic, handsome and lit up every room he walked in.  He loved being a dad. And I loved him more than anything on earth. …. (Except for Jesse my dog).

When I was 9-- I woke to a horrible sound. It was my father screaming in a cold sweat, crying and unable to stop shaking.  He would call them “night terrors”.  He would get real down and closed off for days after one of these episodes.

When I was 9 --My dad was always the athlete.  He was the best tennis player, golfer and Skier.  He owned a great restaurant and was the best cook in the world. Anything he put his heart into would shine.

When I was 9 -- I could hear the screaming.  Calling her horrible names. I had a friend sleepover when he and my stepmom were in a terrible fight.  Amy and I could hear them running around the house and hitting each other.  I was so sick that my friend had to see this part of my life. I called the police on him that night…He was choking her and it needed to stop.  I will never forget how my stomach ached with shame.

Teach our Children Well...

By Karen Solomon - Hearts Beneath the Badge

There are two extreme ways some people seem to view life. One says, “Life is long, painful, and we all die in the end.” Wow, that’s a downer. Are you sure you want to keep reading? Well, how’s this? “Life is a sweet, melodious journey filled with love and joy.” Much better. But what about the truths in between? What about the balance of dark and light? And more importantly, how do you communicate that to a child? How do we ensure they look at life as a joy and a gift, in spite of the moments when it feels like a chore? How do we let them know they are valuable and their life will be what they make it, not what someone else says it is?

It’s not easy. I know, because somewhere along the line, I didn’t get the message. My failure to see the glass as half-full brought me to my knees. Actually, it was more like I was in sand up to my neck. Laxatives became my best friend, and they are related to bulimia. Bulimia was more than happy to bring in her friend depression, and then completed the party with her close relative: suicide attempts.

Thankfully, hospitalization jumped in and helped me out. She had a little help from the small voice in my head that managed to filter through all the poisonous noise and guide me back to health. This whole process started when I was 11 years old and ended with three suicide attempts at age 25.

In reality, it hasn’t really “ended.” Each day is a new silent struggle, but I manage to get through it by telling myself the things I wish someone had told me when I was young and knowing that while it’s true life will have its end, somewhere in between there will be happiness.

What are those things I wish someone had told me? Well, it’s not just saying something; it’s living and emulating behaviors. Things that will transform a child into a compassionate, self-aware adult. In the ever-changing game of life, there is not one magic formula to prevent a person from spiraling into depression, succumbing to the lies of a bully, or continuing a cycle of violence. We never know what action or affirmation might pull someone from the rubble—so we’ve got to offer as many as we can.

Where does the #1stresponder's Child get Help???

From PR Web

Sometimes we focus so much on providing for the first responder when in crisis that all of us forget about the children of the first responders.  Today Safe Call Now® is honored to announce our partnership with New Beginnings Adolescent Recovery Center that has built a nationwide referral network for our children.  We only bring you the “gold standard” and with New Beginnings that’s what your children are getting!!!  Read more about our new partners.

NAADAC, the Association for Addiction Professionals and the premier global organization of addiction professionals, has recognized New Beginnings Adolescent Recovery Center located in Opelousas, Louisiana, as its 2015 Organizational Achievement Award winner for its high level of care, support and commitment to the addiction professionals on its staff and throughout the substance abuse treatment industry in America. Johnny Patout, CEO of New Beginnings, commented, “This is a great honor for our entire organization, our treatment and support staff, and mostly for the many teenagers and their families whom we are able to help break away from their substance abuse.” Under his leadership, New Beginnings has transformed from a struggling program in 2011 to one of the leading award-winning treatment centers in the country today.

NAADAC, in announcing New Beginnings as its 2015 award winner, stated that through the recruitment of qualified, Master’s-level therapists, nurses and physicians who are dedicated to providing the highest quality of care possible for their patients, New Beginnings has become a center of excellence for struggling teenagers from across the country. They added that New Beginnings’ highly experienced leadership team, many of whom are in recovery themselves, have offered their experience, training, knowledge and skills in treating substance abuse. In doing so, they have provided real hope for adolescents and their families.

New Beginnings offers medically monitored detox services, residential, partial hospitalization, intense outpatient and extended care programs for patients ages 13 to 18. Its programs are designed to help teenagers break the cycle of addiction while also helping families to understand their child’s addiction and recovery process.