10 years
ago today… the worst day of my life, as I reflect back it turned out to be my
best. Thank you to all who have been a
part of my journey, it’s been one hell of a ride.
I was a highly decorated police
officer for almost 20 years. I served in all the coveted assignments, gang
officer, bicycle patrol, D.A.R.E. Officer, interview and interrogation
specialist, homicide detective and my final assignment, “drug addict.”
My journey began, as always, a hard
charger and heavy drinker at choir practice with the boys.
I was very well trained on how to
always win and not trust. On the streets, trust will get you killed. So as my
addiction progressed, I knew I would fix it because I have never lost at
anything in life. Hell, I faced death, danger and all that goes with the job;
nothing scared me. I formulated a tactical plan, I would beat my addiction on
my own and win again. Little did I know that my addiction also had a tactical plan
that was strategically far superior to my own.
My life started to spiral out of
control. I held myself together on the job, or so I thought, always receiving
excellent evaluations; but I began isolating and becoming a hypocrite in my
private life. How could I help so many but not myself?
As
my private life fell apart, the only thing that seemed to ease the pain was
narcotic medication. This became my “beat partner” who always had my back and
took care of me. My addiction grew so out of control that I did something I
never ever thought I would ever do. I committed a crime. I was indicted by the
U.S. Federal Government for “doctor shopping.”
For the first time in my life, I was
defeated. The killer was not a felon on the street, it was addiction. I plead guilty, because I was guilty. Time to stop being a hypocrite and deal with the real demon:
myself and my disease.
I went to treatment, the greatest
gift ever given to me in my life. Without it, I was going to commit suicide.
Having 10 years clean and sober, life is far greater than I ever
imagined. I could have never accomplished this on my own.
My new “beat partner” are the tools,
education and awareness given to me in treatment.
Today I am a
husband, a father, a son and a friend. I am also the President & Founder of
Safe Call Now®, a crisis line for police, fire, correctional staff, all first
responder professions and their family members nationwide. I get to save lives
again, just in a different way. I am
blessed.
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