Secondary PTSD...

By Robert Rabe

Every critical incident has similarities, and differences.  In addition, every law enforcement officer's reaction to an incident is individual as well.  Some officers go through the process of integrating the experience into their psyche without difficulty.  Usually this is with the help of others (peer group counseling, debriefings).  It is difficult to an effectively process an incident alone.  The family is one of the primary contacts for processing stressful incidents. But what can the family possibly do to help the officer?  

The family can make sure that nothing is overlooked, especially, if medication is needed.  But sometimes medication or even intervention isn't enough.  If the officer has become sullen and melancholy, they are a different person than before the critical incident and onset of PTSD.  At this point, the family becomes the secondary victim, and loyalty is tested.  The spouse and the children can suffer from secondary PTSD, which is not widely recognized or discussed in the mainstream media.  Secondary PTSD is based on the concept, that those who care for or interact with the primary individual who suffers from PTSD, can also become traumatized.

Secondary PTSD results from having knowledge of a critical incident experienced by another individual and the stress from helping.  Secondary PTSD is nearly identical to PTSD except the exposure to the critical incident is indirect. Today, many law enforcement personnel and their families suffer from PTSD and the battle that rages within. But the good news is that PTSD and Secondary PTSD are treatable.  The next step is helping families to learn the characteristics of Secondary PTSD and where to look for help.  

Characteristics of Secondary PTSD Checklist:

(Dr. Oscar Ramirez)

FEAR:

Spouse fears what might happen the next time the officer has another fit of rage.

Spouse fears the officer will someday leave and abandon the family and never come back.

Spouse fears what might happen to the officer when they are not home.

Spouse fears “middle of the night surprises."

Spouse feels "if just one more thing happens, I'll lose my mind."

Family Time First...

By Safe Call Now®'s Steve Gutzler

I recently had the privilege of having a breakfast meeting with my son, Jayce. We sat in a restaurant overlooking Lake Washington on a beautiful, crisp blue day. He is in law enforcement and we were meeting with a fellow officer. As we sat relaxed, I was reminded again of how valuable and precious family time is. I have dozens of meetings with business professionals, I pour into them daily. 

Questions for 2016: How often and how much will I pour into my family? Do I really believe family is first? And do I show my family that they are first? I may not be able to schedule the same hours I do for work, but I can be far more intentional with the hours I have for them. 

I have aggressive goals for 2016, including publishing a book, speaking nationally and coaching over 30 leaders monthly. One goal I do not want to miss is quality family time with my wife, three children, and five grandchildren. I read something recently that inspired me to devote more quality time for those I love. I hope it inspires you to make 2016 a year of Family First. 

Jonathan Edward, born in 1702, was a theologian, pastor and President of Princeton. He lived in many places over his lifetime, including Connecticut, New York and Massachusetts, but regardless of his busy life he was a devoted family man. In 1900, A.E. Winship studied 1,400 descendants of Jonathan and his wife Sarah. Among them, there were: 

·         13 college presidents

·         65 professors

·         100 lawyers

·         30 judges

·         66 physicians, including a medical school dean

·         80 held public offices, including: 3 U.S. Senators, 3 mayors, 3 governors, a Controller of the U.S. Treasury and one U.S. Vice President

Were all of Edward's descendants high achievers? Certainly not, but the pattern is clear: A good family is an incredible advantage in life. One of the best investments you and I can make in 2016 is quality family time. 

"While you can't do much about your ancestors, you can influence your descendants greatly."

Blessings to You (and your family),

Steve Gutzler

My Husband... The Police Officer

By Melissa Littles - The Police Wife Life

"I'm fine"
"It's all good"
"I'll get a Red Bull or some coffee, I'm good"
"It's just four extra hours, we need the money"
"We can open presents on my lunch break, it's holiday pay"

Overtime, grant shifts, off duty security..... It’s the way many officers pay their mortgages and buy groceries.  For those who literally find a way to live with extra jobs, it is mind blowing that there are so many departments that don't allow officers to work off duty security.  Those are the officers with completely separate jobs on the side.  They have lawn services, pest control services, construction jobs....whatever it takes to pay the bills.  We are no different.

We went from a two income household to one. Within a year we went from doing pretty great after 15 years in with two incomes to struggling to avoid foreclosure on our newly built home after a diagnosis of autism, dysphagia, apraxia and seizures in our son.  Medical bills piled up, I couldn't keep my job because of all the therapy and specialist appointments... co-pays after insurance jumped quickly to over $600.00 a month... we lost over $4,000 a month in income with me staying home. It didn't take long for it to hit us like a brick.

So, he does what he does.  My husband, the police officer, heads off to his normal 40 hours per week, which never remains just 40 hours.... he picks up every DUI and seat belt enforcement grant shift he can, every estate sale, school dance, football game, pharmacy security, church security, funeral escort....you name it.... if he can work it, he will sign up for it.  Because we need the money and he will do whatever it takes to provide for his family. 

#1stresponders... What Do We Teach Our Children???

By Safe Call Now®'s Steve Gutzler

There are two extreme ways some people seem to view life. One says, “Life is long, painful, and we all die in the end.” Wow, that’s a downer. Are you sure you want to keep reading? Well, how’s this? “Life is a sweet, melodious journey filled with love and joy.” Much better. But what about the truths in between? What about the balance of dark and light? And more importantly, how do you communicate that to a child? How do we ensure they look at life as a joy and a gift, in spite of the moments when it feels like a chore? How do we let them know they are valuable and their life will be what they make it, not what someone else says it is?

It’s not easy. I know, because somewhere along the line, I didn’t get the message. My failure to see the glass as half-full brought me to my knees. Actually, it was more like I was in sand up to my neck. Laxatives became my best friend, and they are related to bulimia. Bulimia was more than happy to bring in her friend depression, and then completed the party with her close relative: suicide attempts.

Thankfully, hospitalization jumped in and helped me out. She had a little help from the small voice in my head that managed to filter through all the poisonous noise and guide me back to health. This whole process started when I was 11 years old and ended with three suicide attempts at age 25.

In reality, it hasn’t really “ended.” Each day is a new silent struggle, but I manage to get through it by telling myself the things I wish someone had told me when I was young and knowing that while it’s true life will have its end, somewhere in between there will be happiness.

What are those things I wish someone had told me? Well, it’s not just saying something; it’s living and emulating behaviors. Things that will transform a child into a compassionate, self-aware adult. In the ever-changing game of life, there is not one magic formula to prevent a person from spiraling into depression, succumbing to the lies of a bully, or continuing a cycle of violence. We never know what action or affirmation might pull someone from the rubble—so we’ve got to offer as many as we can.

Trauma... The Emotional Scar

By Author Karen Solomon

Over the last six months I have had the distinct pleasure of interviewing over forty law enforcement officers and their families. Although not all of the interviews were geared toward critical incidents, eventually all discussions ended there. If the officers weren’t personally involved in a critical incident, they were witness to one or they knew someone who had been involved in one. Every single officer has an emotional scar as a result. 

Interestingly, most of the couples and their children made it through the trauma intact. Their families aren’t fractured, their relationships are stronger, and they can now help others understand what it takes to emotionally survive a traumatic experience. As an officer, you can choose to read this, digest it and move on. I suggest you do more than that; share this with your loved ones.

To survive a traumatic on-the-job experience, you are going to need information and forethought. This will help you make a plan. I am sharing with you what I heard from the officers and their families: what they needed most, what the people around them needed and what their departments needed to provide. It’s easier than you think, and it’s something every illness or injury needs: a CURE – Communicate, Understand, React, and Educate. Four simple steps applied before and after a critical incident could change your outcome.

The Child Inside of the #1stresponder...

By Safe Call Now®'s Dr. Laura Brodie

As I think about how those in helping professions were raised, it was a message of doing your best and making sure you take care of others.  Often this was taking care of a vulnerable family member.  The person was a substance abuser, a depressed individual, an anxious parent or a parent who needed you as a child at a level you were ill equipped to handle. You became what we in the profession call a “parentified child”.  In talking to individuals who have taken on this role it is obvious they did not realize it.  They saw the path they traveled as having great parents who had no problems and they simply helped or listened. I think it is the same in First Responders. Who else runs into danger when everyone else is running away?

I get worried anytime I hear a client say, “My parents were great/perfect, no problems.” Let’s face it, none of us were raised perfectly and our indoctrinations of the past can control our reactions to the future. The child learns to blame him/herself early in life if there is any conflict. The result is a highly responsible individual that believes he/she is without a self.  He/she strives to become someone who helps humanity, but also is oblivious that they have little coping skills available because of the caretaker life they have lived.

Wait, you would think the parentified child adapted to adults at a young age so they should be ahead of the game. Nope. As a child there is a need for guidance, not caretaking. A child does not need to rescue yet they do. It is instinct. The child has to make sure his needs are met or he does not have a chance of thriving. The rescue the child does is to stay alive.  

Financial Wellness for #1stresponders...

By Safe Call Now®'s Captain Brian Nanavaty

Safe Call Now® and Financial Wellness

“If you fail to plan- you are planning to fail.” Benjamin Franklin

Studies show the #1 reason for the dissolution of relationships in the first 7 years is financial discord. Add to that the stress of a career spent as a first responder and it is no wonder many enter their golden years unprepared physically, emotionally and most of all financially. 

The professionals at My Money Wellness© have teamed up with Safe Call Now® to offer financial education and literacy training using a fun and motivating three part concept:

Classroom/Online Workshop: The experts at My Money Wellness© utilize an easy to follow workbook to walk students through an understanding and application of the following financial concepts: 

• ·         Budgeting and Planning for Emergencies
• ·         Tackling Debt
• ·         Relationships and Money
• ·         Wealth Building 

The financial themes are presented in an open workshop style format designed specifically for the public safety professional and the first responder family. 

Web-Based Training: In addition to the classroom workshop, Safe Call Now® and My Money Wellness© also offer ongoing online education. Web- based learning helps the student build on the classroom training through long-term reinforcement. This ongoing education allows public safety professionals to refocus and gain control of their money, secure their future, and create peace of mind through long-lasting behavioral changes.

Individual Coaching:  Successful individuals, like professional athletes, musicians, and actors have coaches to help them stay on track by focusing on areas specific to their individual needs. Financial coaching enhances an individual’s finances in the following areas: 

• ·         Wealth Building
• ·         Fine Tuning
• ·         Crisis
• ·         Accountability

Join the thousands who have become financially literate through the workshops, online education and coaching provided by the professionals at My Money Wellness©. For more information on Financial Wellness Contact Safe Call Now® Director of Training and Curriculum Brian Nanavaty at BN@safecallnow.org or 317-339-5118.