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| My parents-Susan & Tim Riley |
So… how do you say thank you to a man who worked 40 plus
years in a factory and provided me with every opportunity he never had in life
and then I crushed his heart and became a drug addict and ultimately indicted
by the Federal Government for “Doctor Shopping”… Well let me start here.
I want to introduce to everyone my father, Tim Riley. I think the thing I respect most about him is
he’s my “father” not my friend. I’ll
tell you later why this was so important in saving my life. He’s the kind of man that has always been
there to help others. Whenever anything
went wrong in our entire family my dad was always there to make it all work
out. Is he a pushover… hell no, never
was, never will be. He’s a man of
character, faith, ethics and family values.
He’s the kind of father who was at every sporting event I
ever participated in. I remember one
time I was traveling the country playing baseball and he took a month off of
work. His employer advised him that his
job was in jeopardy if he didn’t come back soon. He told them that his son was playing in the
Pony League World Series and that they may have to fire him but he was going to
watch his son play. Wow!!! Didn’t think too much of it at the time being
a kid but reflecting back on it… Wow!!!
When my cousin or someone else got into trouble they always
came and lived with Uncle Tim. He’s all
about family and is extremely protective of it.
He instilled all of these values in me and I followed them, making him
proud and accomplishing all of the goals I set for myself in life. He was there each step of the way. Sometimes he told me what I didn’t want to
hear but it made me better. Enter…
alcohol and narcotic pain medication.
As I look back it amazes me that the man I admire most I let
slip away and let addiction define my new family values and it didn’t include
him. How much more of an ungrateful
sonofabitch could I have become? I was
full blown in my addiction, anytime my father would mention something to me, I
would lie to him, deflect away from me and try to justify my actions. He wasn’t buying any of it but he was also
very unaware of what addiction was.
Unfortunately I educated him the hard way.
On the lowest point in my life I was indicted by the Federal
Government on March 17th, 2005 (my first day of sobriety) I was so
cocky I thought I would beat the federal case.
I didn’t lose cases as a cop so why would I be beat now? After I left court that day to go to
treatment I went to tell him what had happened, I was going to lie… I walked in that room ready to give him every
excuse in the world and tell him how the entire justice system was wrong and how
I was right. When I walked in the room,
I saw for the first time that I had crushed my father, no words needed to be
spoken. His body language was like
nothing I have ever seen before. At that
point I started to get just a glimpse of the damage I caused to him. He then told me two things that saved my
life.
“At what point in
your life do you accept personal responsibility for your actions and take your
lumps like a man”
followed by…
“You need to do the right thing even though it’s going to hurt you and
this family very, very badly”
Right then and there…
He was my father, not my friend.
I didn’t need a friend there I needed my father and he stepped up to the
plate. It was the most painful moment of
my life… he was right and that one interaction has taken me to 10 years of
sobriety. Yes, there were many steps in
between (treatment, counseling, probation, starting over, etc…) but he laid the
foundation and that’s what dads do.
Today I have an incredible relationship with him. I really get to enjoy everything about
him. His strength, support, advice and
his quirks. Oh those quirks are what
make us both smile. When it comes to
life and death, my dad is spot on money.
The rest of life, he gets by like the rest of us. Each day I become more and more like my
father and if I become half the man he is I’m going to be okay.
I don’t have to do anything anymore, I get to do things now
and those little moments that are insignificant to others are incredible to my
relationship with my father. I love
mowing his lawn for him and getting the stripes just right. He’s standing at one end of the yard
supervising me (I am 52 years old) and as I finish a straight line I hear “Way
to go bub”. 52 years old and I still get
that guidance from my father… I love
it!!!
Here’s to a great man, I really enjoy spending time with you
and laughing about all the stupid stuff you and I do in everyday life. Thanks for being the father you are and
sticking in there to save my life. I’ll
be over to mow the lawn. Love ya Pop!!!
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